Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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