$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
this boner is exhausting
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
