I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
