i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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