three words: i give head
three words: not that well
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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