i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
