yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
