Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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