he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
