That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
tell me about the eggs
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
