The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
