I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
