It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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