So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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