FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
