i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
