a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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