so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
NoShamevember. You game?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
