I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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