I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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