dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
