bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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