i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Randomize
