We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
It's never too late to be topless.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
