the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
