So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
