I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
