so that wasnt chicken after all
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
