Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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