Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
This is my gift to your gina
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
