when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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