Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
