I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
another moral hangover. fuck.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
