the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
