Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
