He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
