I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
