I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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