Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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