why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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