I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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