Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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