I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
