I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Actions speak louder than pants.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
