Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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