I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
