you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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