does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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