So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
