Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She's the barista slut.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
