If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize